Sunday, 29 April 2012

Day 7 - TV/Movies

Day 7 - A show or a movie that has changed you.

I watched my first ever episode of Doctor Who around the age of 5/6 with my mum. I insisted on getting the VHS out from the library. It was a Tom Baker series VHS and I used to get them out religiously for years (until they stopped having them there for some reason). 

It's the earliest tv show I can think of that I watched that wasn't 'the norm' that wasn't princesses being rescued by princes or teddy bears flying around in a hot air balloon. It challenged me, at that very young age, to think outside the box and reconsider that we aren't the only beings in this ever expanding universe. Etc etc. I still love the show now and it is my go-to in the 'dry spell' television wise.

Movie wise there are many that I love, but the one I have seen the most out of any is the Rocky Horror Picture Show.. I first watched it at 11 and have seen it around 100 times - I know it word for word. It's amazing.

Day 6 - Myself

Day 6 - Something you would change about yourself.

My stomach. No, not my weight - I am not that fussed about my size. Sure, it'd be nice to be thinner but eh - it's the gross 'mummy belly' that I have that I absolutely hate that I'd love to hack off for good.

:) Other than that I think I am pretty damn awesome.

Day 5 - Changes

Day 5 - Something you would change about the world.

Poverty, cruelty to animals, people who seem to want to rape/murder/steal/lie/etc... the list could go on forever if I were speaking of 'standard' answers.

The biggest thing I would change about our world on a whole is acceptance, also our relative distance from other planets that may or may have life on them. There are lots of things 'wrong' in this world but if everyone could see others points of view and be willing to accept them, then perhaps there would be a lot less of the above.

Day 4 (I have to bulk catch up on this 365 thing)

Day 4 - How you think your life would change if you achieved your dream.

I don't really have a 'dream' more a series of life 'goals'. I'd like to have a couple of university degrees under my belt and be working in a job that I get joy from or that I am interested in, I'd like to be living in my own house etc etc.

Even though I am doing nursing I am still unsure on where I am headed in life or what I ultimately 'dream' of.


Wednesday, 25 April 2012

University Study & Essay Writing in 7 GIFs

First we do our readings, then we sit down to think and start writing, then we try to write it and the frustration sets in, then we get overwhelmed, then we get tired, then we find ourselves awake at 3am trying to write a conclusion for something that is due at 9am.

Day 3 - 365 Day Challenge

Day 3 - What do you think your reason for being here is?

I was put on this Earth for one reason and that one reason is to be....

In all seriousness I have no idea why I have been put on this beautiful, mistreated planet and neither does anyone else. I think we just have to fight for our causes and do what we can to leave the biggest and most beautiful impression we can when we leave. I want to try and do my best for my family, my friends, the ill, the misfortunate. I want to make some kind of difference, however small to someones life.

;D The questions get better FYI

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Day 2 - 365 Day Challenge

Day 2: something that’s illegal that you think should be legal.

99.99% of things that are illegal are just so because they help to 'protect' us in numerous ways. As an Australian, living in Australia who hasn't been overseas and is not overly familiar with overseas laws and legalities my opinions are based purely on what little I know about our own laws.

I think, law-wise, we have it pretty sweet. The majority of things that are illegal are perfectly fine staying that way in my opinion, well except one thing.

Same sex marriage. If two people love each other then why can't they be wed or at least recognised legally as a couple? Not allowing same sex marriage is just as backwards as not allowing interracial couples to be married in my opinion. In the future if my daughter or son fell in love with somebody of the same sex and they wanted to be able to get married then I would hope that they could, if that is a path they want to take in their relationship.

There could also be some improvement on the laws surrounding the adoption process and euthanasia.

This topic was hard and not something I am overly interested in (laws and legalities that is) so please excuse it being rubbish.

- Cheerio!

Monday, 23 April 2012

365 Day Challenge - Day 1

Hey all, long time no speak. Decided to jump on Melissa's 365 Day Challenge :)


Day 1: hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days with a picture of yourself

<taken 5 seconds ago>

Hopes: Creative expression! Actually finishing it.
Dreams: That I do it well and think outside the box.
Plans: To stick to it? If I miss a day or 5 I'll try my hardest to make them up :)

Wednesday, 7 March 2012


I do believe I have come to some sort of breakthrough with Matt (le psychologist). I am no longer feeling so melancholy about things. I wouldn't go as far to say that I am happy, but I am no longer in despair. It is hard when you reach the point where you are no longer living for yourself, but for two darling little angels. Having them as your only anchor to a world where you are feeling nothing but sadness is a pretty big realisation. I decided that if I am to be here for them, then I need to be *here* for them. Not in my own head, not hating every second that I breathe - that is not productive, that is in no way beneficial for them at all... So I am on the quest to get better, to seek light in the dark and find happiness where before there was nothing but self-hate. It will be a long, slow process - but I need to do this, if not for me then for them.

This brings me back, once again, to the poem 'The Laughing Heart' by Charles Bukowski. A poem which I hold so very dear.

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

In other news I will be going to see 'Boy & Bear' in May and perhaps I can manage to sway the husband to let me go and see the comedian John Robertson the week after - we shall see. If you do not know who Boy & Bear are then I strongly recommend you look them up on youtube and bask in their awesomeness, you should also youtube John Robertson's 'Dark Room' game.

I leave you with this motivational message wallpaper I made this evening.. image from the googles..

Friday, 10 February 2012

My headphones are broken and other tales.

So my headphones are broken, whenever I move my head I get a loud CLUNK noise, which is rather irritating when I am trying to watch something on my laptop. I also got my newer car (a 2002 red, Toyota Corolla Wagon - it doesn't play MP3s and the audio cd's I burnt didn't work so still sorting out the music situation). We both know that's not why I'm here. I am here to vent more serious shit - so enjoy.


So I have been seeing my psych weekly and the sessions go well, I get a lot off of my chest and walk out feeling awesome and ready to tackle things I need to work on - then I get about halfway to my car and feel helpless again. Feel like running back in there and begging for them to hold my hand and help me. I need to resign my current job. I cannot bring myself to do it - I have written the letter and everything, but feel so horribly sick and anxious to even consider printing it out and posting it! Then there is the big decision of what the fuck I should do at uni. I don't think I want to do nursing any more the idea of it seems too hard - I am rusty, the stress of being in a hospital ward and all that guff again, makes me freak the fuck out. Then I think maybe I should do midwifery, it is more one on one time with the clients and its all about bringing life into the world and less about treating the sick (for the most part) but then it's still in a hospital and would still be super sonic stress town most of the time. Then I think biomedical science to become a pathologist or something similar - but I hate research and can't really see myself in a laboratory for the rest of my days, also is it profitable? Can I support my family on that degree? The last thing I was considering was naturopathy - but then with that you essentially have to set up your own practice and you need money and business skills for such things. So I am stuck on that and as a result have been very panicky and very on edge and wanting to recluse into my room and just not do people. I have been very touchy and very sensitive and also very defensive and aggro - ESPECIALLY when I do open up to someone and their only suggestion is medicaation. I don't want fucking medication. I don't want to treat the symptoms I want to treat the root of the problem and get better for good you dick hole.
Anyway I should probably leave it there I am getting into a tired cycle thang and best not to ignore it and embrace it and go sleepy towns. I know no one really reads this anyhow - but that's ok, it's out and off  my chest yay.


Sunday, 5 February 2012

Crash Course - A Youtube Series

Hello - long time no post. I haven't been the best head-space wise and at the same time I haven't really had anything to vent about. I just wanted to let you all know about this relatively new youtube channel/series called 'Crash Course' it is mostly made by the vlogbrothers (look them up if you don't know who they are) and as the name suggests you get 'crash courses' in numerous topics - the current being History and Biology. They are presented in a way that doesn't dumb it down, but makes it interesting and easy to understand. I am loving it so far and you might too! Well worth checking it out :) <click the link to go to the channel :)

Monday, 30 January 2012

People who hate the things you love. With a passion.

Thoughts on: the people who hate the things you love.

So I am a pretty open person, I like a lot of different things in regards to music, movies, authors, games, television programs etc. I also dislike a lot of things. Some of my friends like these things that I dislike - that's ok, each to their own. I happily listen to them gush about these things they like, I value learning (knowledge is power after all) even if it is about subjects I have no great interest in. I sometimes like to gush about the things I like and for the most part my friends will listen, ask questions, join in and what not. Then there are the few friends who feel it necessary to belittle me for having interests that differ to theirs.

For example;

Me: "I was watching an episode of_________"
Friend: "Ugh, that again? I hate __________, it is so stupid! How can you stand watching it?"
Me: "Um, well I obviously don't find it stupid..."
Friend: *changes subject or goes on a rant about why _________ is stupid*

There are only a couple of friends who do this. For the most part they are awesome people who I can have long conversations with on a variety of topics, they just seem to think it is ok to put themselves above someone else for liking something that they don't or not liking something they do. It is so immature and it makes no sense to me. We are all diffferent to one another - we are not going to like the exact same things, never. It won't ever happen that two people will meet and love everything that the other person does - there will be differences and that is what makes us as a species amazing! 

Anyways so ends todays installment of "Emmy Getting Things Off Of Her Chest".
Hope you are all well today! What are some of your pet peeves?

Sunday, 29 January 2012

I have decided that I need to vent more for my own sanity. This means that my blogging will be more frequent. It also means that my blogging will be more sad and 'oh woe is me' more often. I feel as if I shouldn't have to say this considering it is my personal blog - but if you don't have anything nice to say in response to posts with such a theme then please refrain from commenting at all. I am not doing it for attention I am doing it as an outlet for my own personal frustrations due to mental illness. 


Social anxiety is a strange, strange creature - well it is for me. Yesterday I went to an anime convention, it was very crowed, thousands of geeks and other nerdy folk in costumes and humorous shirts mashed together for hours on end. I was ok for the majority of the day, being so close to so  many people didn't bother me in the slightest until around 5pm - this was resolved by removing myself to a deserted row in the screening room to watch a movie. Today, however, we have been invited to a small barbeque (by we, I am referring to my husband, children and myself) at a friends house and I am freaking out. I am over-socialled, I don't want to be near people today. My room is a quiet, cosy haven where I can sleep, play video games and talk to absolutely no-one (husband has taken the children out to play at the park) - why would I want to go and have a barbeque with people who may be judging me? To be honest we don't share the same interests - unless you include parenting - and they are skinnier than me and prettier than me (obviously referring to the women who will be there). It is bothering me that I spent yesterday with around 4000 people with no issue and today there will be around 6 people and I am stressing. I am talking stress-rash, tummy aches, head aches, sweaty palms - the works. I am going to therapy to fix these issues, there was even mention of the 'cure' word last week (I scoffed in disbelief), it would be wonderful to be able to just go and do something without worrying what everybody else thought. To just enjoy myself for once without presuming everyone hates me and that they are judging me for varying, unspecified reasons. Oh to be normal.


Ok so I wrote the above about 7 hours ago and since then my mum was rushed to hospital with chest pains (now a suspected blood clot - tests still being done, I am home now) and it made me think "Oh well if I had gone to Wai-Con/the barbeque today then I wouldn't of been able to get to my mum as soon and if it was a real heart attack.. etc etc". Which is stupid - but it is what it is. Also I realised I have an intense fear and dread of hospitals - I am training to be a nurse (perhaps a rethink in career choice is needed). Anyways mum is ok for now and I am home with my dinner and my 'I'm sad' cardigan on, it is long, flowy and grey and made out of the softest wool (it was $50 so I am glad it is awesome) about to watch some youtube and play a bit of L.A. Noire.
<3 To whoever is reading this xx

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

SOPA/PIPA - Get Informed & Sign some Petitions!

Thought this was fitting due to the reddit/wikipedia black out currently in progress.
SOPA - although an American legislation will affect every single last one of us with the internet.

I have watched/read a lot of SOPA/PIPA items and this one is by far the best and most informative.
There are many, many online petitions for Americans and ways for them to contact their governments - if you are not from the US the below link is a petition for us to sign. I already have thrice. (scroll down)

To lighten the mood:

Oh  noes! I have copyright infringed materials on my blog.... 


Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Golden Tinted Rainbows


Firstly, I went to a new psych this morning and he is awesome. Feeling really positive about future sessions and the progress that will more than likely ensue!

Secondly, you need to learn 6 simple words when you are at a restaurant and haven't been able to finish what's on your plate. "Can I get this to go?" Yes - it does seem cheap, but you don't have to think of lunch the next day and get everything you paid for. 

Thirdly, 'Funniest' Is In The Eye Of The Beholder - is an awesome article over on nerdist which put one hell of a smile on my face and in my brain (yes you can smile there!) I personally, LOVE the Python boys and the English sense of humour.

Fourthly, these plushies by MissCoffee on deviantart are AMAZING and make me want to get my craft on!

Fifthly, SHERLOCK!! This BBC series is tickling me in all the right places and it helps that Benedict Cumberbatch is pretty darn scrummy <3

Sixthly, you - yes YOU, are amazing. Don't forget it ok? Please link me in the comments anything funny or interesting from around the web.. xx

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

2012 - What Do I Want From You?!

I am not one for new years resolutions, but there are a few things I would like to achieve this year.

Overcome my depression & anxiety. It has been ridiculously bad this past year, worse than you could imagine from talking to me/reading this as I am the master of emotional disguise! I am thinking of giving in to myself and popping some magic pills to tide me over to when I am in a better place emotionally.. Not sure on that one yet - we shall see. I want to be mentally better. 

Lose some kgs and get healthy. I am overweight/obese and super unfit. So far this year I have been changing my eating habits and trying to go on the wii fit for at least 30minutes everyday - there is still heaps of room for improvement. It's not about dress size, it is about treating my body better so it will reward me with not being sick/injured all the effing time. 

To know what direction I want to take. When I went into nursing studies I was certain, 100%, that it was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Although I thought it would be all about hands on, 1 on 1 nursing care with an individual. I was heart broken when I found out it was all paper work and rushed - so I got to thinking that maybe midwifery would be more for me. I am so unsure - the must haves for a future career need to be... 1) get to be one on one dealing with people, 2) be helping people in one way or another, 3) be flexible with lots of different opportunities to stop me getting bored..

To embrace myself, including all my flaws and be ME. For far, far too long I have tried to please everyone but myself and done what I thought others wanted. Be it joining in bitching (this is going way back to highschool days - I loathe the act of gossip and bitching with every inch of my soul  nowadays), conform to what is in fashion whether clothing or music etc. I am a geek, a nerd, a sci-fi nut, a popculturalist, I love retro glamour, indie/folk/alternative music, I love piercings and tattoos and coloured hair. I am Emma - hear me ROAR!

That's it for now. This is rather unstructured, but these are my goals for this year.

This Weeks Internet Discoveries...11/01/2012

I love - it is my 'start' page on my laptop when I boot her up in the morning, I usually listen to the nerdist podcast depending on who is the guest. This week I decided to have a look around the other podcasts they have on offer and found...

It is such an interesting podcast. Intellectual conversation on a topic everyone enjoys - sex!
I have only listened to a couple of podcasts so far, the latest one and the one about blow jobs but will be working my way through the back ones.
Definently reccommend!


Other Discoveries:

What cool things have you discovered around the internet lately? Link meeeee :)

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Cupcake Critique #1 (new segment)

Thought I would try something new on my blog as I often find myself buying a cupcake or a different sweet treat that is either wonderful or horrible and then not remembering where I got it from for next time. This will mostly be useful if you live in Australia and near me - but you may still enjoy it if you like looking at photos of cupcakes and hearing about my adventure eating them! Also if this is absolute rubbish and you'd rather I discontinue it please let me know, I am pretty sure I only have two readers and I would hate to displease you guys haha <3

Cupcakes Found At: DNK Cupcakes in Fremantle Markets
Price: Not sure as these were bought for me by my brother.
Cupcake Flavour(s): They are both mini vanilla cupcakes with vanilla buttercream.
Testers: Myself & Evan

Evan had the rainbow one and he said it was 'good'.
I had the flake one and I enjoyed it - the cake itself was a little dense and sort of half way between moist and dry, the butter cream was slightly too sweet but it balanced out the density of the cake. Good for kids as they are ridiculously cute!

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

What 'geeky' things do you like?!

I posted earlier on the brand-spanker facebook group 'She-Geeks Unite' this question and decided to write a somewhat complete list here (I say somewhat because I am more than likely to forget most of the things I like..)

Doctor Who
Star Wars
Star Trek (just getting into Next Gen)
Back to the future!
DC (marvel > dc always in my eyes)

Tim Burton
Harry Potter
Horror Films
Sci Fi genre (Terra Nova, Falling Skies, Warehouse 13 etc)
British Humour (Black Books, Little Britain, Monty Python etc)
It Crowd
Big Bang Theory
Anime (fairy tail, death note, ghost in the shell etc)
Pop Culture in general (how i met your mother, futurama etc)
STUDIO GHIBLI (Whisper of the heart, howls moving castle, ponyo, totoro, the cat returns - need to see the rest!)
PS3 (currently creaming Batman: Arkham Asylum)
Vintage Cars (i am a geek about it)
Baking (i am also a geek about this)
Cross-references (like the delorean crashed into the tardis..)

There are many many other things I love.. but for now..

What gets your geeky gears grinding?!!